Why I say no to free gigs (even when they look ‘good for exposure’)

A few years ago, if you asked me to speak at your event for free, I probably would’ve said yes.

I’d have done it with a smile, put on a fresh outfit, maybe even hired a babysitter, and rocked up like the pro I am. And most of the time? I’d leave with nothing but a thank-you and a lukewarm sandwich. Sometimes, not even that.

These days, I say no. Even when it’s a big crowd. Even when it looks “great for exposure.” Even when they say, “We don’t have a budget for speakers, but you’ll get to network with some amazing people.”

Here’s why: exposure doesn’t pay my bills.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe in giving back, and I still say yes to causes that matter deeply to me. But there’s a difference between giving from the heart and being taken advantage of.

Because here's the thing no one tells new speakers: the more you say yes to unpaid gigs, the more people expect you to work for free. It reinforces the idea that our skills, our presence, our prep time don’t hold value. And that mindset? It’s not just hurting you. It’s hurting all of us.

I've coached hundreds of speakers, and so many of them whisper the same thing:
"I didn’t even know you could get paid to speak."

YES. YOU. CAN.
And you should.

When you're asked to speak, you're not just showing up on stage. You’re drawing on years of experience. You’re spending hours preparing. You’re giving energy, emotion, and strategy. You’re creating transformation for an audience. That is worth paying for.

I once MC’d an event where the keynote speaker was paid tens of thousands. I was the one holding the event together, keeping things on track, engaging the audience between sessions and I didn’t even get a bunch of flowers. That was the moment I drew a line in the sand.

Now? I charge. And I’m proud of it.
Because when I get paid, I show up even bigger. I deliver more. I value my time, and so do my clients.

If you're a speaker, a coach, a creative, stop undervaluing yourself. The “exposure” they offer doesn’t guarantee future bookings. But charging your worth? That builds a business.

So the next time someone offers you a free gig that’ll be “great for your profile,” take a deep breath and remember: you are not a hobby. You’re a professional. You’re allowed to say no. In fact, you should.

And when you're ready to turn your speaking into income, come find me. I’ll show you exactly how to do it, without ever stepping on stage for free again.